Katja Presnal, a blogger from Finland who moved to the U.S., talks about the differences between Finnish and American compliment cultures. She describes how she experienced culture shock when she discovered that complimenting is a typical feature of small talk in the U.S., and the way she felt when her fiancé's family complimented her skin and hair as part of small talk. In Finland, she explains, custom dictates that you would ask a young woman her opinion about politics or controversial issues when meeting her for the first time. What is particularly interesting about Presnal's account is that she suggests she felt devalued by small talk culture in the U.S.-- at least before she understood that very superficial topics are expected. As Presnal learned, the American custom is to only discuss politics, religion, money, and controversial issues in +solidarity relationships. Language learners may choose to discuss such topics with people they aren't close to, but if they do, they should know they are deviating from social norms.
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American English |